This is the only life you have - TREASURE IT!

Live your life in the moment!

Have you ever noticed that our lives today are lived on a treadmill - and just like the hamster we are probably tired and bored by all the drudgery but cannot find escape as THIS is what we know.

Life feels like one ginormous assignment that is due tomorrow. We rush through the day never taking the time to "live in the moment", to appreciate the gift of today.

Each day, each moment you are alive, well and healthy, with food to eat, a roof over your head and a source of income (or just some money in your pocket) is a cause for celebration. Millions would love to have the life you are living - just ask that child begging at the corner at the behest of his parent or for the lack of said parent.

We are surrounded by distractions at every turn. Hundreds of FM stations to listen to, dozens of TV stations to watch, gazillion movies, series, not to mention the ever present intrusion of the internet the mobile fone and all the buddies you hang out with.

We work all day and in the evening either hang out with friends or go home and drape ourselves in front of the screen or curl up with a good book. ALL this is very good as you do need to unwind. Soon its bedtime. NEXT DAY - Ctrl+V a copy paste of the previous day.

This evening, from work head straight home and once there avoid the tube (yes missing the news today wont kill you). Take it slow. Have a leisurely bath or shower. Have a leisurely meal with your family (you live alone? Appreciate whatever you are eating don’t just shovel it in your mouth to get over and done).

Really listen and hear what they have to say and don’t offer your input just let them talk.

When this is done. Take time for SELF. I mean take the time to listen (yes really listen) to yourself. Sit in silence and let yourself go. Focus on positive self talk do not listen to the negative voice in your head; give yourself positive feedback. Think of the achievements to date. Think of where you would want to be in a weeks time, a months time, a year, a decade. This is the great interview of your life. There are no wrong answers. Fantasize about that dream home, dream car, dream gal/guy. Think of the first step you need to take to get there. Think about what you love about your life, yourself, your partner, your family. Build the castles in the air and start working on the pillars to support them in the course of your every day living.

Do this once a week for just 15mins, and watch yourself and your relationships with others bloom. Increase the sessions to twice a week and then every day. You may find that you actually want to have more time to focus on the people in your everyday life.

Don’t put off today for tomorrow as you don’t know what the morrow holds for you. Live in the present. Live life as if this is your last chance! 'cause guess what? It is. These 24hrs will not come around again. They are gone! There is no curtain call.

This Easter take that holiday you have been putting off. Don’t sleep the weekend away. Don’t drown it in alcohol or housework either. Take a walk around your neighbourhood. Drop in or call an old friend. Go see your parents or at least take the time to call them and really listen to what they are saying. Visit a children's home. Visit an old peoples home.Take some of that long weekend and remember your creator.

Appreciate the life you have been given. Treasure it. Treasure the people who make you who you are.

PS - AVOID TOXIC people during that long weekend and try not to be one yourself ;-)

Marriage is like riding a bike - BALANCE is key!

Marriage is just a way of living.
Before marriage you don’t really expect life to be all sunshine and light, and smooth sailing do you? So why in the name of all that is holy and sacred do you expect the ‘ceremony’ or event to be magically transport you to la-la land?

Why do we choose to blame our significant others for things that are really just a normal part of life. S/he is not some perfect creature – those belong under the microscope after which they can be relegated to some museum where they will remain unblemished and on display for future generations.

You are supposed to be partners and that means working in tandem, in sequence towards a common goal. Think of those tandem bikes, one rider cannot decide to go in his own direction that is different from whoever is at the helm or they will both FALL DOWN and land seriously on the butt with some injuries. THATs exactly why we end up getting hurt in our various relationships – we are not in duality operating as a whole; each has their own agenda.

Also with the tandem bikes none is really in control. Sitting up front only gives you the mandate to direct where the bike will go, if your partner jams to ride – guess what my dear? YOU CANNOT MOVE; but then again maybe your seriously buffed and you don’t have my 73kgs to contend with so you can force the bike to move and carry both us – this is very hard work especially if you are going uphill. Now imagine that’s a husband and wife who are not in sync with the direction the family should be taking.

Which brings me to the rant of the day! I think the main problem with todays society and why we have a very high rate of divorce and separation is because we have upturned the “natural pre-ordained order of the universe”. Men are either absconding from their duties or having them hijacked by “liberated women” all in the name of “equal rights”. Women are also fighting for control or having to take up the helm when the man has bust, this is also done in the name of “equal rights”, equality of the sexes. What a man can do a woman can do better..and such like. (please note these are not bad ideologies in and of themselves…am coming to the ish!)

Biblically and in the African culture (yea yea am going there as I only speak about that which I know. The man is the head of the home. This is even taught in our schools for Religious Ed and Social Ethics so there! He is the leader. The controller. The one who gives direction. Sorry for you if yo hooked to a lost guy! LOL sorry that’s the real me sneaking out for some input!

A weak leader even in a war can still win the war if he has good advisors. Women here is where we come in. the man is supposed to lead and give direction. But we were born with feminine intuition – that inner voice that tells you (nay SHOUTS) galfriend that is wrong! Or this is sooooooooooooooo right! If yo female u have it; in men it’s a GUT FEELING – hence the saying the way to man’s heart is through his stomach (oops what can I say... the real me WANTS TO GIVE SOME INPUT!).

Women tend to “deal in emotions” but behind every successful man is a good woman. She is never infront of him because for a man to succeed he needs a constant positive voice in his ear cheering him on. If your infront of him my dear doing the whispering you will both land in a ditch! As he CANNOT SEE INFRONT. So please allow your man to lead and support his directives. Whisper in his ear and lend your efforts to his cycling.

I leave you with these thoughts.
Are you a real wo/man?
Do you revel in it?
Do you allow your partner to experience his/her inner nature his/her true self?
Try it! Tell me what happens?

Operational Defiant Disorder

Yea its O.D.D. to try to label something that’s SIMPLY bad behavior.

Where do you think bad behavior stems from? Is it bad parenting? Is it genetics? Is it our environment?

My personal take? The minute you start trying to label something…it means you’re trying to shift the blame and seek a miracle cure. I will not say that all bad behavior is from bad parenting but O.D.D. must be coz by the time the child is dysfunctional….the parent “had no hand in it”. You were not there when the child was growing lito lito horns….even a plant needs weeding and trimming especially if it’s a twining plant or a tree. You need to mould and trim and model it to what you want.

You need to see the outcome in your minds-eye and start working towards this goal.

Parenting starts from the moment the egg is fertilized. THAT is the time when you start to make decisions. Should I have it? Should I flush it? What should I be eating? How will I prepare? And on and on for 9months. THEN you give birth and perhaps you hadn’t resolved the should I keep it dilemma so you opt to go home with or without the baby. The moment you take that little bundle of joy home – you are now bound in that job market for life. There are no leave days no vacations. You are always on call.

So yes. When your child starts acting out to the point of deserving a label! You did play a hand or perhaps you decided to hand over the play to another party – the nanny the housekeeper the maid…call him/her what you will. if you have ever had a pet you do know that good behavior can be taught!

I refuse to buy into all those labels the “developed” countries put on their children to abdicate from parenting! I refuse to take the common mentality of blaming the school your child attends. If you constantly curb bad behavior you can start to control the outcome of your child’s behavior before the HORMONES kick in and you have a little monster in your hands.

We ALL like to test the limits. We all want to try to get away with murder. Why should your little angel be any different! Try to make your child your friend! Let your child KNOW they can trust you for anything (or they will never come to you with a problem coz you will fly off the handle). Let them know that you got their back! Be a friend not a pal to your child and you just might raise us a new generation of children who are not pumped full of chemicals in the name of “curing” bad behavior.