Marriage is just a way of living.
Before marriage you don’t really expect life to be all sunshine and light, and smooth sailing do you? So why in the name of all that is holy and sacred do you expect the ‘ceremony’ or event to be magically transport you to la-la land?
Why do we choose to blame our significant others for things that are really just a normal part of life. S/he is not some perfect creature – those belong under the microscope after which they can be relegated to some museum where they will remain unblemished and on display for future generations.
You are supposed to be partners and that means working in tandem, in sequence towards a common goal. Think of those tandem bikes, one rider cannot decide to go in his own direction that is different from whoever is at the helm or they will both FALL DOWN and land seriously on the butt with some injuries. THATs exactly why we end up getting hurt in our various relationships – we are not in duality operating as a whole; each has their own agenda.
Also with the tandem bikes none is really in control. Sitting up front only gives you the mandate to direct where the bike will go, if your partner jams to ride – guess what my dear? YOU CANNOT MOVE; but then again maybe your seriously buffed and you don’t have my 73kgs to contend with so you can force the bike to move and carry both us – this is very hard work especially if you are going uphill. Now imagine that’s a husband and wife who are not in sync with the direction the family should be taking.
Which brings me to the rant of the day! I think the main problem with todays society and why we have a very high rate of divorce and separation is because we have upturned the “natural pre-ordained order of the universe”. Men are either absconding from their duties or having them hijacked by “liberated women” all in the name of “equal rights”. Women are also fighting for control or having to take up the helm when the man has bust, this is also done in the name of “equal rights”, equality of the sexes. What a man can do a woman can do better..and such like. (please note these are not bad ideologies in and of themselves…am coming to the ish!)
Biblically and in the African culture (yea yea am going there as I only speak about that which I know. The man is the head of the home. This is even taught in our schools for Religious Ed and Social Ethics so there! He is the leader. The controller. The one who gives direction. Sorry for you if yo hooked to a lost guy! LOL sorry that’s the real me sneaking out for some input!
A weak leader even in a war can still win the war if he has good advisors. Women here is where we come in. the man is supposed to lead and give direction. But we were born with feminine intuition – that inner voice that tells you (nay SHOUTS) galfriend that is wrong! Or this is sooooooooooooooo right! If yo female u have it; in men it’s a GUT FEELING – hence the saying the way to man’s heart is through his stomach (oops what can I say... the real me WANTS TO GIVE SOME INPUT!).
Women tend to “deal in emotions” but behind every successful man is a good woman. She is never infront of him because for a man to succeed he needs a constant positive voice in his ear cheering him on. If your infront of him my dear doing the whispering you will both land in a ditch! As he CANNOT SEE INFRONT. So please allow your man to lead and support his directives. Whisper in his ear and lend your efforts to his cycling.
I leave you with these thoughts.
Are you a real wo/man?
Do you revel in it?
Do you allow your partner to experience his/her inner nature his/her true self?
Try it! Tell me what happens?
I believe you've given the fundamental point here but to emphasise, U need an understanding between these partners on which roles each one has to partake. The man being the leader doesn't mean that he'll force his ideas on the family, he'll lead by consensus and for the common good of all parties involved(wife n kids). Once roles are established then life will be easier n smoother to live!
ReplyDeleteA leader is one who goes ahead of others, shows them the way.
ReplyDeleteI also read somewhere that "Leadership is a process by which a person influences others to accomplish an objective and directs the organization in a way that makes it more cohesive and coherent".
That said, it therefore follows that being in front or leading the way does not make you a DICTATOR - THIS would be one of the causes of having the others on your tandem bicycle rebelling
My point was everyone should take up their "universe ordained" role and not abdicate from their role